Have you noticed that everyone who begs for money at an intersection has a limp? That must be dangerous work. And there are people that give these bums money. Please don't do that because if you do soon there will be one of these losers at every intersection.
It's like junk email. If no one responded to this cyber pollution it would go away. And even though I know most people don't there must be enough that do or the jerks that litter our inboxes wouldn't continue to do it.
So, for those people let me straighten a few things out for you:
1. Any email that says you are pre-qualified for a re-fi on your mortgage it's worth the paper it's written on.
2. A Rolex is a fake if in the email it's described as a genuine replica.
3. Any establishment that describes themselves as a "Reputable Online Casino" isn't.
4. Gucci, Prada, Channel and Dior wouldn't be caught dead advertising together. They don't like being next door to each other on Rodeo Drive let alone together in an email.
5. Believe it or not, that 24 year old coed who is emailing you because she's bored and wants you to go to her site and look at some pictures she took when her and her girlfriends got drunk at the slumber party doesn't exist. It's actually a 250 pound nerd named Merl with bad skin and a Diet Coke habit that would kill a laboratory animal.
6. If there was a pill that could actually increase the size of your penis the company wouldn't have to advertise because every guy trying to attract women with fake boobs would be camped on their doorstep until they opened. Here's how you know these pills don't work. You've never heard of a guy who died from an overdose. You know, some guy who took a whole bottle, saw a beautiful woman, got excited and was killed when his giant penis sucked his entire blood supply from the rest of his body.
So please folks, do the world a favor and don't respond to junk mail of any kind. Thanks.
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